This picture was taken on wednesday during a photoshoot.
Now, i will talk about reasons why....
Its been slightly more than a year since my grandma died. Since i am 18 this year, let me list u 18 reasons why i caused my grandma's death.
1) I alway dun listen to her. Whenever she asks me not to do something, i will purposely do it because i like her agitated look. Everytime after she scolds me, she will talk to me nicely then i listen.
2) The most expensive thing i gave her was not taking her money. In short, i never gave her any thing valuable at all.
3) She had too much things to remember and yet i added on to her burden. I always misplaces my things and she seems to know the location of my things better than me. WTH rite? Ya. she actually made the effort to remember where i put my things. All these caused her blood vessel to rupture and die.
4) This is one reason that can warrant a death penalty on me. I actually said that i am sick of homecooked food. KILL ME! I really regret. If you know me well enough, you should know how much i miss homecooked food especially my grandma's cooking. i will never get to enjoy it anymore.
5) I cheated my grandma that i will bring a girlfriend home for new year in 2007. She might have been tired of waiting and so, she left. If only you had endured a few months more, i sure you will like shurong as much as i do. i will blog about this point why i say so in my next blog post.
6)I always try to stay away from home when its clear that my grandma wants my company. Why?! Why did i take my grandma for granted? she punished me and taught me not to cherish every moment i have with my loved ones through her death. i must say despite my childish front, i actually matured quite a lot. But your death came at the worst period of time.
7) i slammed grandma's 30-40 year old antique table on the floor causing a dent in the floor tile at the age of 5 years old. believe me. the evidence is still there but the antique table survived the ordeal.
8) i loved to create structures with grandma's sofa pillows but then hor... i will never put it back to the original position. so... grandma always puts them back despite causing and swearing at me. that really caused her a few years of her life time.
9) My grandma's wall is always infested with apple skin simply because i would steal her apple skin and anyhow paste on her wall. but if i am not wrong, i tink she was the one who thought me that apple skin do stick. but i took the knowledge and applied it on every wall.
10) everytime i wake up even a minute later than scheduled, i would cry like tsunami. image how difficult it would be to stop my tears. that was more than 1o years ago when i was in kindergarten...
11) i spent too little time with grandma... i din even remember her age or birthday until we celebrate it for her. so i only remember her birthday and age once a year. Crap me rite? YEs. I neglected her and the fact that she has been aging as the years go by... If only i had gave you less trouble and more company, would that have lengthened your life?
12) FATS. i nv like fatty meat but my grandma loves them. so how? everytime what i dont like to eat, coincidentally she loves them. Why din i stop her or try to love eating them myself? its so damn unhealthy and i let her eat. Screw me! i deserve death more than her.
13) Grandma, i was wrong to bring you to singaporepools. i thought you how to buy toto and made you a regular. although every bet onli amounted to around 2 -4 dollars, may your fustration due to the lacked of winnings made you feel depressed and want to move on...
14) Though the years when Grandma was around, i enjoyed luxurious life. seriously, i was the king at home. my grandma protected me from every danger ranging from from my uncle to my mother. And finally, on 27 0ctober 2007, my shield retired...
15) Grandma was best at cooking things that she don't like to eat. E.g eggs. she was the best egg cooker despite the fact that she hates eggs. but i made her cook it. at least thrice a week. Making her do things against her will. My fault. but i need to compliment that her maggie noodle was the best. Earth, let me tell you this. you lost a good cook.
16) Everytime i complain or cry, she softens and melts. i will get anything i want after that. at the age of 5, i wanted to buy a book entitled water baby. the book is thicker than my hand at that time. she din want to buy, so how? i screamed in public and she bought. she say will beat me up if i dont read. a week later, i lost the book. my mum found out about it and she scold me. Gone case right? NO! my grandma saved me. Instead of beating me up, she told my mum its ok... a book only. then she her magic touch helped me to recover the book the following day. Grandma, u rock!
17) Grandma should have attended school instead of me. her eagerness to learn surpasses anyone on earth. Despite knowing onli dialects and malay + abit of chinese, she learnt ENGLISH!!! She knows how to write A and A is for Apple all the way until C if i nv rember wrongly. I know it may sound easy for anyone. but look, no1 taught her ok?! she learnt it in order to teach her grandchildren. she learnt it from a children's laptop. those kind like u press the a button and they will say "A for Apple".
18) My grandma has 10 grandchildren. Me, my sister, my sister and 7 cousins. i must say that she dotes on me the most. And sad to say, i am the one who disappoints her the most too. she had high hopes on my results but never once, i failed NOT to shine. How tiring that can get to see me grow up?
These days, i have not been happy. i am always thinking of my grandmother but i keep telling myself that i am fine. i know that i miss grandma and the fact that she will nv wake up and scold me or to dote on me again. I am very tired of missing you grandma but i will still continue to miss you... this is my promise to you. Hope you are doing fine. but you must know that i am not. Visit me soon and Visit me Often. Gods and Goddesses. i cant type in dialect but translate this msg to grandma. Thank you and Thank You Grandma for bringing me up for 17 years and 8 months. i am very grateful. Till the day i become your grandson again, i will continue missing you...
